Do I Speak Too Fast? Or Is That Not the Real Problem?

A recent question from a participant:

“I speak too fast, and sometimes people don’t understand me—especially when I get emotional or agitated. What can I do?”

Let’s start with an important principle:

In communication, everything is relative.

Speed Is Not Absolute

There is no universally “correct” speaking speed.
Some people prefer fast, energetic speech. Others feel more comfortable with a slower, more structured pace.

What matters is not only how we speak—but how we are perceived.

Interestingly, our self-perception is often misleading.
For example, I personally tend to worry that I speak too fast. Yet more often, I receive the opposite feedback: that I speak too slowly.

This shows how important it is to test our assumptions.
Without feedback, we are often guessing.

What Influences Speaking Speed?

There are several possible reasons why we might speak too fast.

1. Perceived Status and Authority

Some studies suggest a correlation between social status and speaking speed:

  • People with higher perceived status tend to speak more slowly
  • People with lower perceived status tend to speak faster

One possible explanation is interruption dynamics:

  • If you feel secure in your status, you expect to be listened to.
  • If you feel less secure, you may rush—anticipating interruption.

In other words, speaking fast can sometimes be a defensive strategy.

2. Lack of Message Clarity

Another common reason is simple:

We haven’t clarified our main message.

When we are unsure what exactly we want to say, we tend to:

  • Use more words
  • Add more explanations
  • Speak faster to “fit everything in”

A powerful alternative is:

Define your key message in advance.

If you know your core point, you need fewer words—and naturally slow down.

3. The Pressure to Keep Talking

Many people feel they must “fill the space” in conversations, especially in professional settings or presentations.

But communication is not a monologue—it’s an exchange.

Instead of speaking continuously, try this:

  • Give shorter answers
  • Ask questions
  • Invite the other person to respond

Pass the ball.

This creates a dialogue—and gives you natural pauses to breathe, reflect, and regulate your pace.

A Practical Exercise: Record Yourself

One of the most effective tools is simple:

Record yourself in real conversations (if appropriate and with permission).

When you listen back, you may discover surprising things:

  • Maybe your speed is not the real issue
  • Maybe your speech lacks emphasis
  • Maybe your voice sounds monotone
  • Maybe key ideas are not clearly highlighted

Often, the problem is not speed—but lack of variation:

  • No clear accents on important words
  • Little change in rhythm or melody
  • Too little contrast between ideas

So What Is the Real Problem?

The real issue is rarely just “speaking too fast.”

More often, it is a combination of:

  • Unclear message
  • Internal pressure
  • Perceived status dynamics
  • Lack of vocal variety

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Want to overcome insecurity and frustration with the foreign language(s) you’ve already started learning? Or maybe you want to learn a new language without going through endless standard course levels — but feel like you’re not making progress?

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Communication Psychology and HR: in small and practical lessons once a week.

With a focus on international and multilingual business conversations.

Gerhard Ohrband is a psychologist from Hamburg/Germany, specialized in Communication Psychology and HR. He consults individuals and companies worldwide (in English, Spanish, Portuguese, Romanian and Russian) on how to avoid costly misunderstandings and handle conflicts with employees and clients.

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