Communication Psychology - with Gerhard Ohrband

In everyday communication, one pattern appears again and again: people want something—but they don’t say it directly. Instead of clearly expressing a request, they hint. They imply. They leave space for interpretation. And then they feel misunderstood when the other person does not respond as hoped. Why does this happen so often? The Hidden Logic Behind Indirect Appeals Two primary forces tend to drive this behavior: ·         Fear of rejection ·         Uncertainty about one’s own desires At first glance, avoiding a direct request may seem like poor communication. But psychologically, it often makes perfect sense. A particularly relevant concept here is rejection sensitivity , introduced by Geraldine Downey and her colleagues. Rejection sensitivity refers to a dispositional tendency to anxiously anticipate, readily perceive, and intensely react to possible rejection. People high in rejection sensit...

“Fake it until you make it” is popular advice in business and personal development. It sounds practical, even empowering: act confident now, and the confidence will follow. But does this really work in communication? The short answer: it depends on what you mean by “fake.” Why faking is harder than it sounds Humans are remarkably sensitive to subtle behavioral cues. Research in social psychology and communication shows that we are often better at detecting inconsistencies between words and behavior than we realize. Even when we cannot consciously explain what feels “off,” our brains register it. For example, microexpressions—very brief, involuntary facial expressions—can reveal underlying emotions. A person may try to appear calm, enthusiastic, or confident, but fleeting signals in the face, tone, posture, or timing can betray tension or doubt. These small mismatches shape how trustworthy, authentic, or competent someone appears. Interestingly, when it comes to outright lies,...

Your voice is one of your most powerful communication tools—and it plays a much bigger role than most people realize, especially in first impressions. Many of us treat our voice as something that is simply given . Like a fingerprint, it seems almost impossible to change. And to a certain extent, that’s true: we can often recognize dozens of people just by the way they say “hello.” But here’s the good news. Even within the limits of your natural voice, there is enormous potential for improvement. I’m not a voice coach myself, so the best advice I can give is to work with a professional—ideally a theater actor or a singer. If that’s not an option, even a drama student can teach you a surprising amount about voice awareness and control. Singing lessons in general are also highly recommended. When it comes to improving your voice, the problem usually isn’t that you’re not doing enough . More often, it’s that you’re doing things you shouldn’t be doing. Harsh, thin, or tense voices...

  Why “No Complaints” Might Be the Worst Sign in Your Company Many companies take pride in claiming they have a conflict-free environment. “In our team, there are no conflicts whatsoever.” “Our customers have only positive things to say about us.” Sounds ideal—but sometimes, “no complaints” is a warning sign. It may mean that employees or customers simply no longer care enough to speak up. Research worldwide shows that around 70% of the workforce is emotionally disconnected from their jobs. They show up, do their work, but their minds and hearts are elsewhere—quietly planning their next move. Or it could mean people are afraid to speak up. If your company has long promoted an agenda of “positivity,” employees may feel unsafe expressing concerns. They worry about being labeled complainers or disrupting the status quo. Here’s the counterintuitive truth: a certain degree of negativity is actually a sign of a healthy work environment. When disagreements, criticism, or even...

Before we think about techniques or skills, it helps to look at something more basic: how we are perceived, and how consciously we shape that perception. Who Am I and Who Do I Want to Become? Most of us feel a certain apprehension in social situations — such as passing an exam, speaking in public, or going out on a date. This apprehension reflects our awareness that, in any social situation, we are going to be judged. Others will form an impression of us. In some cases, this impression is critical to our goals: • To get a job or a promotion • To sell our products or services • To pass an exam • To make the other person like us These judgments are highly relative. They depend on who we are (or pretend to be), on who our interlocutor is, and on what the necessities of the situation are. This leads us to a more fundamental set of questions: Who are you? Who do you pretend to be? Why is this important? Roles Whether we want to or not — whether we are aware of it or n...

As a communication coach, I regularly encounter two widespread misconceptions: ·         A communication coach needs to be a perfect communicator. ·         A communication coach needs to tell you how to communicate. Before addressing these two assumptions directly, let me begin with a personal failure. A Personal Case Study Alongside my work as a psychologist, I have long taught foreign languages as a hobby. Some years ago, I approached a new potential client here in Moldova: an international company. I had developed a new concept for teaching Business English—one based on role-playing challenging workplace situations and tailoring each session to the specific realities of the client. My wife strongly criticized me for giving away too much, but I decided to offer the company one free month: two 90-minute lessons per week, delivered by me at their headquarters. My reasoning was simple. Since my approach ...