Communication Psychology - with Gerhard Ohrband

Before we think about techniques or skills, it helps to look at something more basic: how we are perceived, and how consciously we shape that perception. Who Am I and Who Do I Want to Become? Most of us feel a certain apprehension in social situations — such as passing an exam, speaking in public, or going out on a date. This apprehension reflects our awareness that, in any social situation, we are going to be judged. Others will form an impression of us. In some cases, this impression is critical to our goals: • To get a job or a promotion • To sell our products or services • To pass an exam • To make the other person like us These judgments are highly relative. They depend on who we are (or pretend to be), on who our interlocutor is, and on what the necessities of the situation are. This leads us to a more fundamental set of questions: Who are you? Who do you pretend to be? Why is this important? Roles Whether we want to or not — whether we are aware of it or n...

As a communication coach, I regularly encounter two widespread misconceptions: ·         A communication coach needs to be a perfect communicator. ·         A communication coach needs to tell you how to communicate. Before addressing these two assumptions directly, let me begin with a personal failure. A Personal Case Study Alongside my work as a psychologist, I have long taught foreign languages as a hobby. Some years ago, I approached a new potential client here in Moldova: an international company. I had developed a new concept for teaching Business English—one based on role-playing challenging workplace situations and tailoring each session to the specific realities of the client. My wife strongly criticized me for giving away too much, but I decided to offer the company one free month: two 90-minute lessons per week, delivered by me at their headquarters. My reasoning was simple. Since my approach ...

We live in a world obsessed with constant improvement. Every year, a new iPhone—or Samsung—arrives, faster, smarter, and cheaper than the last. But what about our human skills? Are we really better listeners, negotiators, salespeople, or managers than people were 50 or 100 years ago? Sure, we have incredible tools today—spreadsheets, spellcheckers, and even AI. Yet every profession still relies on a purely human component. In fact, as technology advances, these human qualities often become the decisive differentiator in business. Consider free internet. In the 1990s, I cycled 30 minutes to my local library just to read online newspapers in Romanian. Back then, free internet was a major differentiator. Today, free Wi-Fi is everywhere, but most people already have mobile data. Decisions are now based on other factors. The same is true in business: technology alone no longer sets you apart. Communication skills—how we interact, listen, and connect—are increasingly what matters. Th...

I am very much in favor of technology, and AI has become a regular tool in my professional and private life. But as with any technology, we need to understand its limitations. Students often ask me what I think of AI tools for learning foreign languages. Of course, there are many upsides, and most of them are well known by now. The main one: What if I have no one to practice the foreign language with? Let us begin with some—admittedly extreme—comparisons. Imagine your dream is to work in a circus with animals. Yes, I know this is a contentious issue regarding animal rights, so if you prefer, mentally replace it with becoming a dog trainer or a cat psychologist. Imagine that in one year, you will be presenting a show with real tigers. Until now, you have only seen tigers at the zoo. Would you be willing to practice for one year only with an AI tool that simulates communication with a tiger—and then step into the ring with real tigers for your first show? Or practice for one y...

  When speaking with HR managers, I often hear, “We almost never have conflicts.” Team leaders tend to say the same thing. Now, of course, not admitting the existence of problems—especially to strangers or providers of communication training—may seem rational. However, more often than not, I believe this answer is sincere. The issue, however, lies in what we actually mean by the word “conflict.” For most people, it conjures up images of verbal and physical expressions of animosity or aggression. We would expect that open, widespread physical hostility is relatively rare in modern-day corporations. And when it does occur, it tends to go against the “company culture.” But not all conflicts need to be expressed, and not all conflicts involve animosity from the outset. Let’s start with something basic. We have limited time to work and unlimited potential options for how to use that time. Every human being is unique. So, in any given task, it’s natural to expect team members t...

We all know what second thoughts feel like. After an important conversation, we start replaying it in our heads. We think about what we could have said better. We regret words that slipped out. We wish we could go back and try again. Second thoughts are usually a sign of insufficient preparation. I don’t mean that you should have memorized a script beforehand—that would never work in the dynamic reality of real-life conversations. The real preparation is different: Which members of my Inner Team should I bring into this situation? Outer Teams First Before we look at the concept of the Inner Team, let’s consider real teams in the outside world. Imagine the following situations. Wouldn’t you prefer to have an additional team member at your side? ·         A bodyguard, when walking through a dangerous neighborhood ·         An interpreter, when traveling in a foreign country ·      ...