How Can I Admit My Own Faults?

 

At first glance, this question sounds almost unnecessary. In many cultures, religions, and workplaces, admitting your faults is officially seen as a virtue. We are told that recognizing mistakes is a sign of maturity, honesty, and strength.

And yet, reality often looks very different.

If you observe public figures—politicians or CEOs of large companies—you will rarely see a sincere admission of fault. A prominent example is Donald Trump, who, regardless of one’s political opinion, consistently shifts responsibility to others—be it institutions, countries, or individuals.

Why does this happen, if admitting mistakes is supposedly valued?

The answer lies in experience.

In many parts of the world, especially in countries shaped by the legacy of the former Soviet Union, people have learned something very different from the ideal. The unwritten rule is not “respect someone who admits fault,” but rather: if you are down, others may push you down even further. In such environments, admitting a mistake can feel dangerous. The expected reaction is not understanding, but judgment: “Even you realize you’re wrong—so step aside.”

Under these conditions, avoiding responsibility becomes a form of self-protection.

So what can be done?

1. Test Reality Instead of Trusting Assumptions

Even if your past experiences taught you that admitting faults leads to negative consequences, this does not automatically apply to your current environment.

People differ—even within the same culture.

A practical approach is to run small experiments. Start by admitting minor mistakes in low-stakes situations and observe how others react. Pay attention to your wording. Adjust your communication. Over time, you may discover that many people respond more positively than expected.

In fact, you might be surprised how often honesty is appreciated.

2. Build Immunity to Negative Reactions

In many professions—whether in politics, law enforcement, or customer service—you inevitably face criticism and negativity. Developing a certain level of emotional resilience is not optional; it is part of the job.

Today’s social media environment makes this more difficult. Platforms like Instagram and TikTok tend to show us content that aligns with our existing views. As a result, we become less accustomed to disagreement and more sensitive to criticism.

It is similar to physical immunity: if you are never exposed to challenges, your resistance weakens.

In this context, the work of Albert Ellis and his approach of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy can be very helpful. Ellis argued that many of our inner beliefs are irrational—for example:

  • “Everyone must agree with me.”
  • “Everyone must treat me fairly.”
  • “Everyone must like me.”

When reality contradicts these beliefs, frustration and defensiveness follow. Letting go of such expectations makes it easier to admit mistakes without feeling threatened.

3. Create the Culture You Want to Live In

If your environment does not support openness, you can begin shaping it yourself.

Take the first step—with colleagues, employees, or even your children. When others admit mistakes, respond constructively. Do not punish them. Acknowledge their honesty. Focus on solutions rather than blame.

By doing so, you gradually create a different kind of culture—one where admitting faults is not risky, but respected.

Over time, this environment will not only benefit others, but also make it easier for you to act with the same openness.

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Want to overcome insecurity and frustration with the foreign language(s) you’ve already started learning? Or maybe you want to learn a new language without going through endless standard course levels — but feel like you’re not making progress?

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Communication Psychology and HR: in small and practical lessons once a week.

With a focus on international and multilingual business conversations.

Gerhard Ohrband is a psychologist from Hamburg/Germany, specialized in Communication Psychology and HR. He consults individuals and companies worldwide (in English, Spanish, Portuguese, Romanian and Russian) on how to avoid costly misunderstandings and handle conflicts with employees and clients.

 

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