Is “fake it until you make it” a good strategy for communication?

“Fake it until you make it” is popular advice in business and personal development. It sounds practical, even empowering: act confident now, and the confidence will follow. But does this really work in communication?

The short answer: it depends on what you mean by “fake.”

Why faking is harder than it sounds

Humans are remarkably sensitive to subtle behavioral cues. Research in social psychology and communication shows that we are often better at detecting inconsistencies between words and behavior than we realize. Even when we cannot consciously explain what feels “off,” our brains register it.

For example, microexpressions—very brief, involuntary facial expressions—can reveal underlying emotions. A person may try to appear calm, enthusiastic, or confident, but fleeting signals in the face, tone, posture, or timing can betray tension or doubt. These small mismatches shape how trustworthy, authentic, or competent someone appears.

Interestingly, when it comes to outright lies, people are not as skilled at detection as they think. Meta-analyses suggest that average accuracy in spotting deception is only slightly better than chance. Commonly cited “clues” such as avoiding eye contact or fidgeting are unreliable. What tends to matter more are subtle contradictions between verbal content and nonverbal behavior.

Emotional authenticity is a different matter. People are generally better at sensing fake emotions than detecting factual lies. A polite smile, for instance, differs from a genuine one. A real smile activates specific muscles around the eyes (often referred to as the Duchenne marker). Others may not consciously identify the difference, but they often feel it. The same applies when someone tries to “fake confidence” or enthusiasm: inconsistencies in tone, body language, or timing can gradually erode credibility.

So “faking it” is not a magic shortcut. You may manage the performance for a while, but subtle signals often leak through.

The ethical dimension

If “faking it” means pretending to be someone you are not or deliberately misleading others, then the issue is not only psychological but moral. Your values, beliefs, and personal ethics shape how acceptable such behavior feels.

Across most cultures and organizations, deception damages trust. Even if a lie is not detected immediately, the long-term risk to credibility is high. Trust, once broken, is difficult to rebuild. From both a research perspective and a moral standpoint, deliberate dishonesty is rarely a sustainable communication strategy.

A different meaning of “faking”

In many real-life situations, however, “fake it” does not mean lying. It means stepping into a role in which you feel inexperienced or not yet fully competent. A first-time manager, a new consultant, or a young speaker may feel insecure and wonder whether to hide that insecurity behind a mask of certainty.

Here, the research points to a better alternative: strategic self-revelation.

Because people are sensitive to insecurity, trying to conceal it entirely can create tension. Paradoxically, moderate, well-placed honesty often increases trust. For example:

·        “This is my first time presenting on this topic, so I’d really appreciate your feedback.”

·        “I’m still exploring this area and may not have all the answers yet, but here’s what I’ve found so far.”

·        “I haven’t handled this exact situation before, but I’m keen to work through it together.”

Such statements signal authenticity and humility. At the same time, they set realistic expectations. Rather than pretending to be flawless, you position yourself as competent and developing.

From performance to integration

There is a difference between deception and deliberate practice. You can practice confident behaviors—clear posture, steady voice, structured arguments—without pretending to possess knowledge or experience you do not have. Over time, these practiced behaviors become integrated. Confidence grows not from pretending, but from repeated action aligned with real competence.

In that sense, the healthier reinterpretation of “fake it until you make it” might be this: act in alignment with the person you are becoming, not in contradiction to who you are.

Authentic growth is slower than faking—but it builds something far more valuable: credibility that lasts.

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Communication Psychology and HR: in small and practical lessons once a week.

With a focus on international and multilingual business conversations.

Gerhard Ohrband is a psychologist from Hamburg/Germany, specialized in Communication Psychology and HR. He consults individuals and companies worldwide (in English, Spanish, Portuguese, Romanian and Russian) on how to avoid costly misunderstandings and handle conflicts with employees and clients.

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