The dangers of practicing communication with AI

I am very much in favor of technology, and AI has become a regular tool in my professional and private life. But as with any technology, we need to understand its limitations.

Students often ask me what I think of AI tools for learning foreign languages. Of course, there are many upsides, and most of them are well known by now. The main one: What if I have no one to practice the foreign language with?

Let us begin with some—admittedly extreme—comparisons. Imagine your dream is to work in a circus with animals. Yes, I know this is a contentious issue regarding animal rights, so if you prefer, mentally replace it with becoming a dog trainer or a cat psychologist.

Imagine that in one year, you will be presenting a show with real tigers. Until now, you have only seen tigers at the zoo.

Would you be willing to practice for one year only with an AI tool that simulates communication with a tiger—and then step into the ring with real tigers for your first show?

Or practice for one year with virtual dogs, only to then handle a group of difficult real dogs?

Probably not. And why not?

You would probably say that even with the best AI and the best virtual reality, there is still a difference between a real and a virtual tiger. To successfully communicate with real tigers, dogs, or cats, you need to be able to feel them. And for that, you need real-life experience. Do you agree?

If yes, do you think it is very different with human beings?

In courtship (or dating), there have long been options that delay or even completely avoid real contact with a partner. Has this made human beings better husbands or wives? Have marriages—or relationships in general—become more stable and happy thanks to online dating or the adult entertainment industry (or OnlyFans)? Most certainly not.

Practicing communication with AI may help you overcome certain inhibitions or become more “fluent,” but will it help you develop the number-one ingredient in interpersonal communication: the ability to listen and truly understand the other person?

If you rely mainly on AI romantic partners, you may end up acquiring habits that make real relationships even more difficult.

Of course, there are AI tools that simulate a real human reasonably well. But the real question is: Will most users prefer a realistic AI partner who can get angry or reject them, or will they choose one that is fully compliant with their expectations?

The problem in human-to-human interaction is not fluency of expression—it is the ability to take reasonable interpersonal risks: rejection, embarrassment, or being ignored.

AI removes these risks from the equation. No AI dating partner will make a scene in a restaurant or lock you out of your apartment.

And returning to the issue of language practice: even before AI, there were options. You could find a language partner in your city (a tandem partner, an expat), or practice online via video conferencing. It simply required more effort—and again—some level of interpersonal risk-taking.

Literature

Sherry Turkle – Reclaiming Conversation: The Power of Talk in a Digital Age (2015)

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Want to overcome insecurity and frustration with the foreign language(s) you’ve already started learning? Or maybe you want to learn a new language without going through endless standard course levels — but feel like you’re not making progress?

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Communication Psychology and HR: in small and practical lessons once a week.

With a focus on international and multilingual business conversations.

Gerhard Ohrband is a psychologist from Hamburg/Germany, specialized in Communication Psychology and HR. He coaches individuals and companies worldwide (in English, Spanish, Portuguese, Romanian and Russian) on how to avoid costly misunderstandings and handle conflicts with employees and clients.

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