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The dangers of practicing communication with AI

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I am very much in favor of technology, and AI has become a regular tool in my professional and private life. But as with any technology, we need to understand its limitations. Students often ask me what I think of AI tools for learning foreign languages. Of course, there are many upsides, and most of them are well known by now. The main one: What if I have no one to practice the foreign language with? Let us begin with some—admittedly extreme—comparisons. Imagine your dream is to work in a circus with animals. Yes, I know this is a contentious issue regarding animal rights, so if you prefer, mentally replace it with becoming a dog trainer or a cat psychologist. Imagine that in one year, you will be presenting a show with real tigers. Until now, you have only seen tigers at the zoo. Would you be willing to practice for one year only with an AI tool that simulates communication with a tiger—and then step into the ring with real tigers for your first show? Or practice for one y...
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There Are No Conflicts in Our Team

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  When speaking with HR managers, I often hear, “We almost never have conflicts.” Team leaders tend to say the same thing. Now, of course, not admitting the existence of problems—especially to strangers or providers of communication training—may seem rational. However, more often than not, I believe this answer is sincere. The issue, however, lies in what we actually mean by the word “conflict.” For most people, it conjures up images of verbal and physical expressions of animosity or aggression. We would expect that open, widespread physical hostility is relatively rare in modern-day corporations. And when it does occur, it tends to go against the “company culture.” But not all conflicts need to be expressed, and not all conflicts involve animosity from the outset. Let’s start with something basic. We have limited time to work and unlimited potential options for how to use that time. Every human being is unique. So, in any given task, it’s natural to expect team members t...
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What to Do Against Second Thoughts After a Conversation

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We all know what second thoughts feel like. After an important conversation, we start replaying it in our heads. We think about what we could have said better. We regret words that slipped out. We wish we could go back and try again. Second thoughts are usually a sign of insufficient preparation. I don’t mean that you should have memorized a script beforehand—that would never work in the dynamic reality of real-life conversations. The real preparation is different: Which members of my Inner Team should I bring into this situation? Outer Teams First Before we look at the concept of the Inner Team, let’s consider real teams in the outside world. Imagine the following situations. Wouldn’t you prefer to have an additional team member at your side? ·         A bodyguard, when walking through a dangerous neighborhood ·         An interpreter, when traveling in a foreign country ·      ...
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How to Master Your Inner Dialogue

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The title may sound a little misleading. What follows might be surprising—even unsettling—for some. There are different levels of self-awareness. Many people avoid looking inside altogether. How do I feel? What do I think? Such questions rarely enter their mind. They keep themselves busy, surround themselves with noise, and distract themselves—anything to escape introspection. The next level of awareness is realizing that there is something inside. At this stage, we begin to notice an “inner dialogue.” We believe there is one solid and constant psychic entity called I . Through meditation and self-reflection, we try to connect with this “I” and discover what it really wants. But if you continue this practice, something unexpected happens: you begin to notice that there isn’t just one voice inside. There is a whole plurality . Different parts of you speak up, each with its own role and its own messages. One of the easiest to recognize is the so-called Inner Critic (or Censo...
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The Unscripted Challenge: Why Difficult Conversations Feel Harder Than Public Speaking

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Have you ever woken up feeling the urgent need to work on your communication skills? Probably not. But have you ever felt the need to improve a significant relationship—whether at home or at work? Chances are, that need pops up at least once a month. Interestingly, these two needs—better communication and better relationships—are deeply linked. The quality of our relationships mirrors the quality of our communication, and vice versa. When we think of honing communication skills, most of us immediately picture public speaking training. And yes, public speaking is notoriously feared. But paradoxically, it's often easier than the unscripted interactions we navigate daily. Here's why: ·         Public speaking offers predictability. ·         You can rehearse what you’ll say. ·         The roles are clearly defined: for that time slot, the stage is yours. ·    ...
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How to See the Good in the Bad While Talking to a Difficult Person

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Most of us know at least one difficult person at work. The typical team reaction is: we need to fix that person—and if that’s impossible, we need to get rid of them. However, just as in families with “difficult children,” the so-called difficult person is often not the root problem but rather the symptom of something deeper. They may be the “weakest link” in the system and therefore the one most likely to manifest behavioral or psychological struggles. Family systems therapy offers a valuable perspective here. Developed by Murray Bowen, it views the family as an emotional unit, emphasizing the interconnectedness of its members. According to this approach, individual behaviors often reflect broader relational patterns within the system. By understanding those patterns, one can address the root causes of difficulties instead of focusing only on the “problematic” individual. Work teams are no different. Yes, there may be one colleague manifesting the symptoms, but the question worth...
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The myth of leaving our comfort zone

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In today’s personal development world, leaving our comfort zone has become a dogma. There are countless quotes such as “life begins out of your comfort zone.” It is clear that you need to venture into new territories if you want to learn something. However, are there limits to how much discomfort we actually need to experience? And what about the idea of having multiple comfort zones? My personal observation is that even highly entrepreneurial people, who in their professional activity are constantly stepping out of their comfort zones, often prefer to remain within a comfort zone in other areas of their life—for example, when learning a foreign language. This suggests that we need to maintain some areas of life where we stay within a comfort zone, in order to have the energy and stability to sustain discomfort in others. Research supports this. Studies on stress and performance (e.g., Yerkes & Dodson, 1908; Csikszentmihalyi, 1990) show that learning and growth do not occu...
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