Why we need to train talking to bad people

We live in a polarized world.

Covid, migration, the Ukraine war, gender (and gender pronouns) or climate change: There is an ever-growing list of possibilities for division, for separating between our ingroup and the outgroup, between the good and the bad guys (and girls).

Many of us simply refuse to speak to people with other opinions. We often hear this as an advice. You shouldn’t/cannot speak with evil people.

Well, this is actually a very dangerous advice.

The more we retreat from engaging in dialogue with people with other opinions and positions, the more vulnerable we become as communicators.

This is one explanation why populist politicians are becoming so successful worldwide.

Many establishment politicians have been living in a conversational bubble for years. They have been asked predictable and softball questions by more or less friendly journalists and colleagues. They have tried to build firewalls against their opponents. In short, they have relaxed the conversational immune system.

It is the same as after the lockdowns. Being isolated at home and protected from viruses outside, our immune systems weakened.

Talking only to more or less like-minded people leaves you utterly unprepared for verbal attacks that – for you – are off-script.

You saw the difference in the Trump vs. Harris campaigns. And in many other elections, too.

Yes, we should avoid hanging around evil people privately.

However, in our professional lives, we are often forced to engage with them. As a police officer or a judge, you cannot say: I don’t speak to bullies.

In a typical business environment, we meet not so nice people every day, too.

We should systematically practice talking to such people. So, instead of making training sessions with our nice colleagues, we should systematically invite hostile and contrarian people to our conversation classes.

 

What do you think? Leave a comment below.

 

 

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Want to get rid of insecurity and bad feelings regarding the foreign language(s) you have already started to learn? Want to learn a new language, without going through various levels of standard courses? You feel you are making no progress?

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Gerhard Ohrband is a communication consultant, psychologist and author of 9 books from Hamburg/Germany. He speaks 11 languages fluently and assists individuals and companies in doing business in foreign languages.

 

 

 

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